Category 3, Category 5

A Bad Boy Turned Good: Rebuilding and Redefining Our Relationships!!!


I thought that if God wanted all women to be happy, he would’ve made all men like me. I’m everyone’s woman’s dream and every man’s nightmare. If I wanted you, consider yourself lucky. But if you wanted me and I didn’t want you, then there’s always that man who is a distant second. My motto: love them and leave them, use and abuse them. That’s what bad boys do, but women love it, they enjoy the excitement of someone with edge that lures them into forbidden territories that their mothers always told them to stay away from. But like a kid in a candy store, you can’t help but to touch and taste what seems so appealing on the outside. I enjoyed taking advantage of vulnerable spirits that willingly gave themselves to me. I am only taking what was rightfully mine in the first place. Women were made to be helpmates, so why not use them to get what I want. This was my story until I met the woman that made a bad boy turn good.
The right woman can change a man’s life forever. She inspired and saw things in me that I didn’t even see in myself; she made me want to be a better man. I wasn’t looking for her and despite my wayward ways she loved me in spite of me. But in spite of her undying love for me I couldn’t keep her, because I allowed my bad boy ways to get in the way of love. The day I lost her was the day I realized that I wasn’t doing right as a man and that I was still hurting from past experiences which surely prevented my relationship from working. They say you never miss a good thing until it’s gone, well she was gone and she was never coming back. I spent many days and nights in pain trying to figure out how I could reconcile with her, but to no avail the relationship had met its demise. After countless sleepless nights I had an epiphany, what I needed to do is “HEAL” from past hurt. My revelation was that I was carrying around my past hurts and pain from previous relationships into my current relationship. And how can you be good for anyone else if you can’t be good for yourself. It was time to face and release the demons that had continued to haunt me that my subconscious mind would not let go. It was time to be born again. Through prayer and intercession, I realized the urgent need to be healed. What I realized that day was that a man is only as good as his woman allows him to be. Moreover, most men don’t know who they are until they know what kind of woman they want or if they even want a woman. But knowing this woman made me realize that I wanted to be a better man and if I was going to make a mends with this woman, it was time for me to not only let go of my past, but it was time for me to rebuild and redefine our relationship.
Relationships can undergo many transformations. These transformations can take form in repairing current relationships to developing healthier connections in the present and future or healing from past heartache. When relationships are broken and/or have become weakened due to deceit, and betrayal, it is often times very difficult to regain the trust and love needed to rebuild and strengthen it. The first step to rebuilding and strengthening a broken relationship is to become transparent, coming clean through absolute honesty. It is best to lay it all on the table and be fair to the other person than to try to hide behind subliminal truths that only expose part of the reality that has added insult to injury in the relationship.
The second step to rebuilding and strengthening a relationship is one’s ability to forgive. Asking for forgiveness is often times viewed as a way of saying that you are deeply remorseful for your transgressions against another person. However, asking for forgiveness is much more than simply saying one is sorry. It’s both parties’ willingness to let go, allowing one another the capacity to create the freedom needed to create a new future. Apologizing for the hurt, and listening empathically to loved one’s concerns, fear and anger over conditions that has brought you to a point of needing to rebuild and redefine can enhance and improve a broken foundation. One must realize that it takes time to rebuild trust therefore you must learn to cultivate patience during this process. Rebuilding and strengthening is a process that takes time, and time is essential to the healing and growth process. Keep in mind that during this process there will be detours that will try to get you off track, but stay the course.
You must create your own path, for the road less traveled will lead you to new lands that you never knew existed. You must learn new communication skills, including being direct about what you feel and need. You must take responsibility for your actions and through measures of accountability; restructure the relationship to fit a new and improved perspective. Be proactive in defining a vision of your life together and devise a plan for how you are going to get there. And remember to always respect each other’s: values, time, privacy, space, weaknesses, point of view, faith, love, choices, characters, and one another.


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